有人可以幫我修改一下嗎

qoojuice562000

因為我是用中文的思考模式，所以好多地方感覺怪怪的。有可以可以幫我做個修正嗎？謝謝
I was born in the country,  XXXXXX  , where the villagers full of warmness and friendliness and always help each other when in difficulties.My mother and sister passed away because of car accident.Now my family members are my father ,an older brother and I. My father puts a lot of emphasis on our education of ethics.He instills us values of ethics as well as how to get along with people in everyday life, which has been etched in my mind since I was young, becoming an important base of developing my character after years.Although I am a person of few words, I possess personalities of passion and patience.  Besides, I am a down-to-earth person who has his feet on the ground.
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td00393232

I was born in XXXXXX , where the people are very kind and friendly.  They always help each other when facing difficulties. My mother and sister passed away due to a car accident. Now, the people in our family are my father, an older brother, and me...

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qoojuice562000

td00393232 發表於 2012-11-6 02:38 AM

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I was born in XXXXXX , where the people are very kind and friendly.  They always help each other whe ...

I don't know how to show my gratitude to you.But I will accept your advices to improve English.Thank you very much.  ...

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avontube

Just some more minor additions:

"I was born in XXXXXX , where the people are very kind and friendly.  They always help one another when facing difficulties. My mother and sister passed away in a car accident. Now, the people in our family are my father, an elder brother and me. My father places a lot of emphasis on our moral ethics. He teaches us the importance of being ethical as well as how to get along with people in everyday's life, which has been embedded deeply in my mind since I was young and later become an important base of my self-development practice (? not sure about this). Although I am not a talkative person, I possess passion and patience (for things and people around).  (logically, talkative persons can be passionate)

My major is xxxxxxx, and I am considered as an average student in our class. To learn more social experience, I took couple of part-time jobs during my summer and winter vacations. Several of my part-time works were based in service industry. Having had these work experiences, I realized how multicultural our society is. Moreover, not only have I improved the ability of interacting with people but also learned how to deal with (various) things and solve problems. I appreciate those who offered me the great opportunities, I learned a lots from them.

...

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td00393232

avontube 發表於 2012-11-6 11:58 PM

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Just some more minor additions:

"I was born in XXXXXX , where the people are very kind and friendly ...

i don't see how most of what you adjusted is necessary, but good work....

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qoojuice562000

avontube 發表於 2012-11-6 11:58 PM

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Just some more minor additions:

"I was born in XXXXXX , where the people are very kind and friendly ...

Many thanks. It's very kind of you two make adjustments for me.Appreciate you from the bottom of my heart....

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avontube

td00393232 發表於 2012-11-7 06:32 AM

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i don't see how most of what you adjusted is necessary, but good work.

Well, some minor things, such as "each other" to "one another", "older brother" to "elder brother", etc. need to be amended.  Overall, it is ok to rest it....

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avontube

qoojuice562000 發表於 2012-11-7 01:10 PM

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Many thanks. It's very kind of you two make adjustments for me.Appreciate you from the bottom of m ...

You are welcome.  Writing skill is the most difficult part to achieve in language learning. I do not mean to write some simple things, but good articles with usage of proper English words to address all the scenarios in a realistic and impressive manner.
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lct

英文要學好，真的要下功夫、持之以恒